


Good Timing, Bad Timing

by Flywolf33



Series: Angels, Demons, and Hunters [8]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Supernatural
Genre: Aziraphale and Crowley are very drunk, Crowley is no help, Dean Is A Bit Of An Ass, Drinking, Uninvited Guests, drinking buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26886121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flywolf33/pseuds/Flywolf33
Summary: Writing prompt from Madoshi_Hikari: The humans witness the ineffables BOTH drunkSam and Dean are in the UK to burn their Crowley's bones and decide to drop in on Crowley and Aziraphale. Unfortunately, our favorite occult beings are several bottles of wine down and have something important to tell them.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Dean Winchester, Aziraphale & Sam Winchester, Crowley & Dean Winchester, Crowley & Sam Winchester, Crowley/Aziraphale
Series: Angels, Demons, and Hunters [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1494296
Comments: 20
Kudos: 190





	Good Timing, Bad Timing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Madoshi_Hikari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madoshi_Hikari/gifts).



> Heeeey guys and gals and anything in between or beyond! Sorry I've been so absent! I feel like I say that all the time though...
> 
> Anyway, the good news is with my new job I'm basically a glorified thermometer and I stare at a wall for 8 hours, so I can use that time for writing! The bad news is I also use that time for schoolwork that doesn't require a computer. The middle news is I've been using that time to force myself to work on my novel, and I've finally finished it! Now to type it all up, print it, and start the editing process. I've posted a snippet of the first chapter (unfortunately it's an unedited version, sorry) on my tumblr, so if you're interested please go check it out! I'd love to hear some feedback on it!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the drunk bois, and I love you all. Thanks for sticking with me :) There's more to come!

Crowley and Aziraphale were into their fifth bottle of wine and well past drunk when the doorbell rang.

“Whoever could it be at this hour?” Aziraphale wondered hazily.

“Juss’ leavit, Angel…” Crowley slurred, but Aziraphale was already stumbling to the door.

“Ah,” Crowley heard him say from the entry.

“Are you _drunk_?”

Sam Winchester’s voice echoed down the hall. Crowley groaned. What were _they_ doing here? Didn’t they live in America? Had he and his partner been spending so much time in the colonies that they’d accidentally transported there? He glanced toward his phone; the ‘missed call’ light was blinking.

“I want in,” Dean’s gruff demand was followed by himself and his brother wandering into the lounge with Aziraphale close behind.

“Whatever do we owe the pleasure?” Aziraphale tutted, circling around the pair with the same nervous energy he’d used to greet Gabriel with. “We can sober up-”

“No,” Crowley said, holding up a hand but not bothering to sit up, “we can’t. Or, we won’t. Whichever you like.” He took a long drink from his glass. “We can be drunk in our own home.”

Dean pulled a face. “Wine?”

Sam elbowed him with a glare.

“ _We_ ,” Crowley hiccupped, “happen to be sssoph- so- have class,” he settled on.

“Crowley, don’t be rude,” Aziraphale scolded even as he sank back into his armchair and went for his glass. “What would you like?”

“Beer’s fine,” Sam said, cutting off his brother, who scowled at him but didn’t argue.

Crowley pulled a face and shook his head, mouthing a disgusted _‘nooooo’_ as his partner gestured and a pair of beers appeared on the table.

“Thanks,” Dean said, going straight for his while Sam just nodded.

“I knew Crowley drank, but I didn’t think you did,” the younger Winchester said as he sat.

“It’s been a _long day_ ,” Aziraphale sighed, closing his eyes.

“Hey, did you know-” Crowley finally dragged himself upright, if only to poor himself more wine, “ _did you know_ Castiel watches you ssssleep?”

Sam snickered as Dean let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, and we’ve _talked_ to him about it. It’s creepy.” He paused, then his voice and expression grew hard. “How did you know that?”

“We went to have a chat with him,” Aziraphale said, then interrupted himself with a deep drink and Crowley finished his sentence.

“He happened to be in your room.”

“Dude,” Sam grinned at his brother. “Just invite him to bed already.”

Dean went bright red. “He’s a dude! And also my best friend! I’m not taking him to bed!”

“Sure,” Sam quipped, “because the eye sex I have to stand in the middle of is _plenty_.”

“We do _not-_ ”

Crowley tuned out their squabble and met Aziraphale’s gaze across from him. They had a silent exchange: they would tell the brothers what they knew, but not tonight.

“Ssstop fighting and get drunk already,” Crowley snapped. “You might assss well sstay the night since you bloody barged in. We’ll take you home in the morning; save you the airfare.”

Sam lit up and turned to Aziraphale. “Mind if I look at some of your books?”

Aziraphale grimaced, but nodded. “Be careful,” he requested.

“Of course,” the younger Winchester promised, and slipped off to snoop.

Dean made a face. “What a nerd.” He shot a glance at Aziraphale. “No offense.”

Aziraphale burped. “None taken.”

“Now,” Dean said, downing the rest of his beer, “any chance I can get something stronger?”

\------------

Crowley had planned on letting Dean suffer with his hangover – serves him right for barging in unannounced and uninvited – but Aziraphale stole the satisfaction from him. His partner also ordered breakfast to be delivered. Crepes, as was to be expected of the former angel.

As they ate (and Crowley watched), Sam babbled on and on about something he’d read in one of Aziraphale’s books. Much to Crowley’s relief, Dean finally held up a hand, pointed to his cup of coffee, and said, “Dude, I don’t care. Just let me wake up.”

Same scowled and jabbed at his food like a petulant child.

Crowley and Aziraphale remained silent, sharing anxious looks and trying to figure out how to tell the boys what their friend was doing and who he was working with.

“Thank you for letting us stay,” Sam said as he finished his food and kicked Dean under the table. “We’ll get out of your hair, since we came unannounced.”

“Actually, the timing was somewhat fortunate, although the _exact_ moment of last night wasn’t quite what we were expecting,” Aziraphale said, twisting his hands together. “We have something we need to discuss with you.”

Both Winchesters suddenly looked wary. “What is it?” Dean asked.

“Well, you see-”

“Castiel is working with the demon you know as Crowley,” Crowley said, lacking the patience to be delicate. “They’re trying to open Purgatory.”

Silence fell over the house and Aziraphale glared at Crowley. “Really,” he huffed in disapproval.

“Cas wouldn’t do that,” Dean said coldly.

“I’m afraid Crowley is right.”

“How do you know?” Sam asked.

“Aziraphale met with Sandalphon, and I had a talk with the King of Hell.”

“Crowley isn’t exactly honest,” Sam said. “He could have been lying.”

Crowley shrugged. “If he was, it would have been very stupid, and I think we both know that even though he is many things, stupid is not one of them.” He leaned forward and removed his glasses, pinning the Winchesters with his gaze. “He wasn’t lying.”

“Say you’re right. Why would Crowley tell you anything? He never gives anything away for free,” Sam countered.

Crowley leaned back and put his glasses back on but didn’t say anything.

“Dean’s eyes narrowed. “What did you give him.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Crowley grinned.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said softly. “Don’t antagonize.”

The former demon glanced at his partner and sighed. “I’m not indebted to him, if that’s what you’re worried about. He owed me. Now we’re even.”

“Why did he owe you?” Sam asked, but seemed to realized he’d overstepped when Crowley hissed and fixed him with a glare he was sure to feel even through the glasses. “Nevermind,” he quickly added.

“I’m still not convinced,” Dean said. “Cas makes poor choices sometimes, but he’s not stupid.”

“Fine. Don’t believe us. Whatever. It doesn’t concern us. We just thought you’d like to know, given your incessant desire to take on the impossible,” Crowley snapped.

The brothers shared a look. “Thanks-” Sam started, but Dean cut him off.

“We take care of our own,” he said hotly, “and if Cas is dealing with the devil, we’ll take care of that too.”

Crowley shrugged. “Suit yourself,” he said, then snapped his fingers and their guests were gone.

“You could have shown a little more tact,” Aziraphale scolded. “The betrayal of a loved one is not easy.”

“I know,” Crowley retorted and instantly regretted it when Aziraphale flinched. “Water under the bridge. Back to drinking?”

Aziraphale stood up. “I rather think we have some work to do, my dear.”

“It’s not _our_ job,” Crowley whined, but got up and followed his partner anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this chapter, please drop a comment! Comments sustain me. 
> 
> If you _didn't_ like this chapter, please leave me some constructive criticism so I can improve! 
> 
> Please come visit me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/flywolfwriting) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/heather_wolffe)!


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